


Exile Vilify

by nessa_j



Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Background Anakin/Padme, Biting, Depression, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, does it count as self-harm if you get someone else to do it for you?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-04
Updated: 2018-12-04
Packaged: 2019-09-07 00:42:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16843702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nessa_j/pseuds/nessa_j
Summary: Anakin struggles with the horrors of war, Obi-Wan tries to offer comfort.“Anakin, wait.”“Master, please, I just want… I need to feel something. Help me feel something”“What about Padme?”“She’ll understand.”They both pretended he wasn’t lying.





	Exile Vilify

“General Kenobi, sir?”

Obi-Wan looked up from his reports to see Rex standing near the door of the command tent, Ahsoka standing just behind him. 

“What can I do for you, Captain? I’m afraid Anakin isn’t with me.”

“That’s just it, Master. Anakin said he was going for a walk, but that was over an hour ago. Neither of us can reach him on his comm, and I can’t feel him in the Force. We’re worried something’s happened to him,” Ahsoka piped up. 

Obi-Wan frowned. Although Anakin was known for his reckless nature, he wasn’t the type to make others worry unnecessarily. Obi-Wan closed his eyes and tried to find his former padawan’s presence in the Force. It was usually fairly easy, Anakin’s Force signature burned bright like a beacon. He found him rather quickly, following the old training bond they had shared that had not been severed as thoroughly as it was supposed to be following Anakin’s knighting. Obi-Wan was concerned to find his presence dull and muted, shielded as though the younger man didn’t want to be found. 

“I can feel him, I don’t think he’s far from here.” Obi-Wan pushed his reports to the side and stood up. “I will go and make sure he has not been incapacitated, and report back.” 

“I’ll come with you,” Ahsoka said, eager to make sure that her Master was safe.

Obi-Wan smiled, but shook his head. “That’s not necessary. Besides, with both Anakin and I away from camp, you will be in command of both the 501st and the 212th should something happen. Captain Rex, would you please alert Cody of the situation and inform him to report to Commander Tano in my absence?” 

Obi-Wan grabbed his robe and his lightsaber. “If neither Anakin nor I have made contact with you by the next hour, notify the Jedi Council and follow procedure.”

“But Master-”

“I mean it, Ahsoka. Do not come looking for us until you have performed a full reconnaissance and assessed the dangers of the situation.”

Ahsoka looked upset, but she nodded her agreement. 

To be honest, Obi-Wan was looking forward to a chance to be truly alone, even if it was only for a few minutes as he walked through the woods. Privacy was rare the last few months as they were sent on mission after mission after mission. He couldn’t fault Anakin the desire to find a few moments to himself.

Anakin, it turned out, was even closer to camp than he had initially suspected. Obi-Wan had been walking through the forest for barely twenty minutes before he spotted the younger man in a small clearing. Despite the physical proximity, Anakin still felt diminished in the Force. Obi-Wan approached cautiously, but it seemed he was alone. 

“Captain Rex? I’ve located General Skywalker, he is safe and unharmed. We will return to camp shortly.”

Anakin didn’t turn around, but he tensed at the sound of Obi-Wan’s voice.

“They’re worried about you,” Obi-wan said quietly. 

“I couldn’t let them see me like this.” 

Obi-Wan walked closer. “I’m worried about you.”

Anakin shuddered and let out what sounded like a small sob. “I’ll be fine.”

“Anakin.” 

“I’ll head back to camp in a bit, I just need some time”

“Anakin, whatever this is, you don’t need to do it alone.” Obi-Wan reached out and put his hand on Anakin’s shoulder. Anakin leaned slightly into the touch. 

“How can I expect my men to follow me, if I don’t believe that we’re doing the right thing?” Anakin spoke so softly that Obi-Wan had to lean forward to hear. 

Obi-Wan sighed. “I understand, Anakin. More than you know. I have questions, doubts about our purpose in this war.”

Anakin turned finally to face his former Master, his cheek brushing against the older man’s at how close they were. 

“Obi-Wan, tell me we’ll never get used to it.”

Obi-Wan didn’t have a chance to ask Anakin to clarify before the other man was leaning even closer and pressing their lips together. Obi-Wan let himself revel in the intimacy for a brief second before pulling away.

“Anakin, wait.”

“Master, please, I just want… I need to feel something. Help me feel something”

“What about Padme?”

“She’ll understand.” 

They both pretended he wasn’t lying. Anakin loved Padme with all his heart, but she would never understand. How could she? She had never felt the grief and anger and despair of losing men in battle. She didn’t feel the cloying grip of darkness that tightened around him with each passing day, the hopelessness that was chipping away at his soul, the way each victory was feeling more and more like a defeat. She could never understand, not the way Obi-Wan could.

Anakin could still feel Obi-Wan’s hesitation. He finally dropped his shields, letting Obi-Wan feel the dark emptiness that carved away at his heart. Obi-Wan gasped and dropped his own shields, his Force signature automatically tangling around the shadows of Anakin’s. 

“Master please,” Anakin begged, nuzzling into Obi-Wan’s neck before scraping his teeth along the tendon. He shifted to bite along Obi-Wan’s ear, “sometimes it feels like I’ve been falling for so long that it almost feels like flying”. 

Obi-Wan whimpered as Anakin’s teeth closed around his ear lobe, but he pushed the taller man away, his body missing the scorching heat from being pressed together. 

“Anakin, what are you saying?” 

“I know that as a Jedi I’m supposed to release my emotions into the Force, but it’s just so hard when sometimes the anger and fear are the only things that remind me I’m alive.” Anakin couldn’t stop the tears that were spilling over. “And I know that they’re pulling me away from the Light, but I can’t bring myself to care because it’s better than feeling nothing at all.”

“Oh Anakin.” This time it was Obi-Wan who leaned in, kissing away the tears before shifting his lips to meet Anakin’s.

Anakin let out a small moan as their lips met. He tried to press closer, his efforts limited by the physical barriers of their bodies, but that didn’t stop him from letting their Force signatures coil together as seamlessly as their bodies, pouring his desperation into the bond.

Obi-Wan bit down in surprise. “Sorry,” he mumbled, his tongue flicking out to soothe the wound. 

Anakin gasped. The spark of pain from Obi-Wan’s teeth shot through him with a vibrancy he hadn’t felt in weeks. “Do it again.”

“Anakin…” Obi-Wan managed to make his name sound like a warning and a prayer all at once. He obliged anyways, his teeth tugging on Anakin’s bottom lip. 

Anakin moaned again as he felt his lip split open, the heavy iron of blood falling across his tongue. Obi-Wan groaned in response as he lapped at the cut. He moved his lips to Anakin’s jaw, letting his teeth scrape along the sensitive flesh. Anakin couldn’t stop himself from whimpering, the pain from each bite zapping through him like electricity, his hands coming up to tangle in Obi-Wan’s hair, pressing him even closer.

Anakin had no idea how long they stood pressed together in the clearing, Obi-Wan biting and sucking at his neck and jaw. They were both hard, but it seemed secondary to the frantic need for the sharp sting of pain that coursed through him, the jolts of arousal from the hard press of Obi-Wan’s body against his own like background noise to the galvanizing agony that he felt.

Beep, beep.

They drew apart, panting heavily, at the sound of Obi-Wan’s wrist comm. Anakin couldn’t stop himself from staring at the blood smeared across Obi-Wan’s lips. His tongue flicked out to run across the scabs that were forming on his own lips, and he noticed Obi-Wan’s gaze following his movements. 

Beep, beep.

Obi-Wan took a step back, Anakin’s hands falling back to his side, and took a ragged breath before answering his comm. “Kenobi here.”

“Everything alright, General? It’s been some time since we expected you and General Skywalker back at camp.” 

“Everything’s fine, Captain Rex. Anakin and I lost track of time sparring. We will make our way back to base now.”

“Roger that, sir.” 

Obi-Wan cut the transmission and turned back to Anakin, the previous intimacy of only a few seconds ago gone. Anakin already felt distant and inaccessible in the Force, the scant meters between them feeling like an ocean. 

“We should head back.” Anakin’s voice was as empty and hollow as it had been when Obi-Wan first found him in the clearing.

The younger man looked a mess, the swollen lips and bite marks a fairly obvious sign they hadn’t been sparring, even if Obi-Wan wasn’t quite sure he himself understood what they had done.

“Anakin…”

“Not now, Obi-Wan, please.”

“Alright, we’ll talk about this later.”

Anakin let out a small noise that sounded suspiciously like a laugh, and walked out of the clearing, leaving Obi-Wan no choice but to follow him into the darkness of the forest.

**Author's Note:**

> I intended to write actual sex, but then Obi-Wan turned into a pseudovampire ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> Not proof-read, like at all.


End file.
